Of course, at some point, something fell out of a cabinet onto Jim as he was trying to get it, and the spoon rest shattered. It wasn't a huge deal; sure, I didn't have anywhere to rest my dormant-but-in-use spoons, but really, a saucer stands in just fine.
Not terribly long thereafter, Jim was doing something else and broke one of the cruets -- I think the olive oil cruet broke first.*
Yes, I said "first." That's because another time, Jim** was doing something in the kitchen, and lo! The balsamic vinegar cruet also shattered into nothing.
Such is life. Those cruets were kind of blah anyway, and it isn't as though these substances don't come in perfectly handy bottles of their own. I just happen to like the decorative and easy-pour nature of countertop cruets.
Well, a while back, we bought an uber-cheap spoon rest at Bed Bath and Beyond. At the time, I had suggested we possibly splurge on the stainless steel version, but Mr. Maltese professed his adamant avowal that he would not break anything in the kitchen ever again, that he would pay attention to the placement of items, I agreed to go with the black china spoon rest.
At the time, I noted it was about $3, so replacing it wouldn't be a big deal anyway. Jim shot daggers at me when I said as much -- after all, there was no way that thing was going down on his watch.
Over time, I also lamented the loss of the cruets, so my mom, masterful shopper that she is, found a wonderful set from Williams-Sonoma and gifted them to me. (I adore them; they are far more elegant and also utile than the el-cheapo set I had before.)
Cut to today.
{Leigh's work phone rings; Jim's cell is caller ID.}
Me: "Hey?"
Jim: "Can I put stain stick on a sweater to get out balsamic vinegar?"
Me: "What is the sweater made of?"
Jim: "I don't know. Guess I should take it off."
{rustling}
Me: "What were you putting balsamic on?"
Jim: {beat}
Me: {knows what is coming}
Jim: "I wasn't. But I was reaching over the cruets to put away silverware and the balsamic went over, and in saving the cruet--"
Me: "You got your sweater."
Jim: "Yeah. And ... the spoon rest."
Me: "Oh, whatever. It only cost $3. What's the sweater made of?"
Jim: "It's beige, and, um, ... cotton."
Me: "Stain-stick it and throw it in. You're cool."
Jim: "Woo."
Me: "Next spoon rest? Stainless steel."
Jim: "... Definitely."
*Maybe the vinegar broke first. I really can't recall.
**I'm not ascribing blame, here. I think I was involved in one of the incidents. I'm not really sure, because I don't remember being there, but it's definitely possible I witnessed or participated tangentially in at least one of these events.