it's like porn-laced crack

Today, Whole Foods opened its new Portland market.

They've been building this monster for a good six months. It's enormous and gorgeous. I've heard rumors that it's actually the new flagship.

(Which strikes me as odd, because what a weird place for a flagship store, but then my brain replies -- yes, to itself -- with "Hello? L.L. Bean?" and, well, Q.E.D.)

Anyway, despite the total overreaction of a blizzard warning that the weather services posted this morning, Melissa and I braved the crowds to attend the grand opening. I honestly did not know that that many people lived in southern Maine, much less (a) near enough to Portland to (b) go out in the snow and (c) park on streets because the lot was full in order to (d) shop at a store sarcastically referred to as "Whole Paycheck." But shop they did, and so did we.

I have not yet recovered from the chef-wannabe heaven I found myself exploring this morning. Our Whole Foods has things I've never seen, even at the big River Street store in Cambridge. In addition to the usual salad bar, for example, this store boasts an antipasto bar, a soup bar, a separate chowder and stew bar, a make-your-own trail mix bar (aside from the bulk foods aisle), another salad bar focused on prepared dishes, an Indian food bar (no, really), and a dessert bar, plus a hibachi grill, a trattoria, a dim sum and noodle counter, and an actual sit-down sushi bar.

I won't even get into the outstanding produce, butcher shop, seafood counter, and cheese counter -- or, as I like to think of it, la fromagerie.

Or the freshly made (in-house) gelato.

Going to shop there today was kind of my Valentine's Day present, inasmuch as it's not the type of store where I would ever shop for staples. However, a lot of the prices in the produce section, and the specials in seafood -- I didn't shop meat or gourmet cheese today -- ran the gamut from "reasonable" to "less than the big supermarket." (Red seedless grapes for $1.50/lb definitely beats the local grocery stores, at least at this time of year.) I also found items like baby french carrots and pattypan squash, which I've never seen, in season or out, anywhere else, and for which I've actually been harboring the perfect romantic-meal recipe, and locally-made marscarpone cheese for my made-from-scratch marscarpone-swirl brownies.

Melissa and I had a blast. I can't wait for the crowds to die down so I can explore without actually having to smack people upside the head in order to reach the portobellos.