Tuesday, June 27, 2006

how to combat (un)seasonal affective disorder

1. Realize you have to get out of the house and decide to go to CVS.

2. Look out the window. Notice the fog is so thick you cannot see the building next door.

3. Ask husband if he needs anything from store. Write down "deodorant" and "face wash."

4. Drive over bridge, wondering idly what the actual visibility is, and if Casco Bay is actually still there below you.

5. Park in slightly puddly, damp parking lot.

6. Realize husband's deodorant of choice is on sale -- two for the price of one. Grab two of the same scent.

7. Spend ten minutes reading various men's skin care labels.

8. Go back and get two different scents of deodorant.

9. Choose a face wash.

10. Wander into hair care aisle.

11. Go back to face wash and get a different one, just because.

12. Back to hair care. Notice that the fun hair color with the built-in kit for highlights is 33% off.

13. Decide that if you're going to highlight your hair, you'd better get some self-tan spray and do the whole thing right.

14. Go to cash register. Justify the fact that you are buying hair color and self-tan spray by noting the free deodorant. Ignore the fact that these two items cost six times as much as the amount you saved.

15. Banter with checkout girl when total spent comes to exactly $45, even.

16. Banter more when cash register prints out nine coupons.

17. Go home. Put away purchases.

18. Take purchases back out. Contemplate usage.

19. Use products as offering to gods of sun and weather.

20. Sun comes out. Life is good.

21. And tan.

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