sport of the future

Lloyd Dobler would be very proud of me. Today I had a one-on-one training session in actual contact kickboxing.

And it kick(box)ed my ass.

It all started because the gym put up a big poster advertising new small group training classes they are introducing in July. Melissa heard from a friend that you can try each one once for free, but she asked me to double-check that with the front desk when I went in yesterday. So I did.

Turns out that yes, you can try each one for free, although if you sign up to take one consistently you have to pay (essentially, you're splitting the cost of a trainer among three or four people, which really makes it more affordable). I was nodding and listening to the girl give me a whole spiel on what each class entailed, in which I wasn't very interested ("beach bodies" -- meh), when a guy behind the desk noticed my glazed eyes, wandered over and interrupted.

"I'm also teaching a contact kickboxing session," he said. "It's not listed there because I haven't scheduled it yet -- I'll work around people's schedules."

Now this was intriguing.

I've been hooked on kickboxing since I first took a cardio kickbox class, but unfortunately the class is at a totally inconvenient time. I also have a pretty great kickbox DVD, but it's too easy to slack off when I'm at home. Plus, I've really been looking for something new and different, as my workouts have, frankly, gotten very boring (going nowhere on stationary bikes and elliptical cross-trainers, it turns out, can actually get old.) I wanted to shake things up, and I thought contact -- where I'd get to punch a bag or targets -- would be awesome.

Then, it got better. Jason, the trainer in question, offered me a free one-on-one session to give me a taste of how the class will run. A free training session? Works for me. I could find out if the whole endeavour is actually worth paying for without embarrassing myself in front of an entire class.

At 10 a.m., I arrived at the gym. Jason was there waiting, and he wrapped my hands and got the gloves and targets out of his office. We headed over to the training area, and he asked me about my goals -- just to tone up, get stronger, work muscles in a new way -- and said we'd do just that.And then he proceeded to destroy me.

I thought I was in pretty good shape. I know I am not strong, because I don't like lifting weights and don't do it enough, but I do a lot of cardio and I'm aware that my heart is extraordinarily healthy. However, "pretty good shape" can apparently be interpreted in a number of ways, and this particular workout?

Interpreted it entirely differently.

I wanted to die about three minutes in. Step-ups with knee lifts, jump rope (fun!), punching with real boxing gloves (really fun!), squat lunges in between punching (not fun!) lateral movement drills, kicking, squat thrusts with pushups in between kicks (really not fun!), more speed drills, high knees, punch combos (aggression!), ridiculously intense ab work. I don't know if my internal cooling system has ever worked that hard, and I'm 100% positive that when I wake up tomorrow, weird muscles I've never thought about are going to mutiny against me and I will be walking like I'm 92 years old.

It was the greatest thing ever. I'm so signing up for this class.